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Friday, September 16, 2011

The blame game

Several times you hear of kids and teenagers running rampant, causing chaos, or doing things they should not be doing.  Then you hear the media reporting on such stories and blaming their lifestyles, or the infuences their friends had on them, etc. 

Who's to blame?  Parents, that's who!  Kids are a recipient of the upbringings and teachings of their parents.  Its about the way parents raise their children, instilling morale, teaching manners, proper etiquette, and allowing them to learn and grow.  Parents should also play an intregal part in their childrens' lives, allowing them to feel free to wander, learn, and experience while keeping them close to help them learn from their mistakes. 

Take, for instance, the kids who did the Columbine shootings.  I choose not to mention them by name because I don't feel the need to glorify the names of two youngsters who, unfortunately, lost their way and let the best of the world and those around them get to them.  But we know them well and the acts they performed.  So what happened?  They came from rather good families, so it seemed.  But how much do we really know?  How involved were their parents in their lives?  They weren't struggling financially.  How much did their parents really care to remain active in their daily routines?  One can only imagine. 

How about the young girl that committed suicide because she was being bullied - at school and over facebook?  Why wouldn't she have gone to her parents?  Were they involved enough or were they so entrenched in work, their own daily lives, paying bills, and trying to keep a roof over their heads that they forgot the reason that they did all that so the child they raised would grow up without any worries and never feel the stresses or pressures their parents faced?

I can't speculate because I'm not them nor was I a part of their lives or familial lifestyles.  However, I can say that I am very much involved in my own daughter's life and know what goes on.  She talks to me about anything and everything.  Sure, she's only ten and I have people tell me all the time that when she gets into her teens, she will begin to rebel, etc., etc.  Not unless I make myself available to her at all costs, pay attention to her needs, and never forget that she is what's first in my life - not work, not paying bills, not wondering what's going on in the news...SHE is first and foremost and I drop all things when she needs my attention.

I can't speak for the parents and families of those that have had to endure hardships.  But I do know the strengths of families are dependent upon the leaders that keep them strong - their parents - through hard times and good times.  That goes for single parents as well.  I am a single parent but I work well with her mother to make sure she grows well.  We are in a tough economic situation right now.  The bonds that families have with each other - and other families - will guide them, and most importantly, their children through to better times.  It will most certainly make them stronger and allow them to keep their heads above water and remember the love that was given them by their parents is something they will never forget.

Therefore, I blame my parents.  I blame them for loving me and backing me through all that I have done.  I'm not exactly where I want to be in life, at least not yet.  But I'm 35 years old and I can always remember the good times I had growing up as a kid and the support and love that my parents always presented me with whatever endeavor I decided to partake in.  Sure, they may not have always agreed, but they allowed me to grow, learn, and make decisions that I am now instilling in my daughter to see to it that she make the right choices, learns, grows, and that I will always be right by her side, come hell or high water.  That's my job.  That's my first job and the one job I absolutely love.  There's no blame in that game.

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